So I got this new job with one of those companies you read about but never think you’ll get a chance to work for.
Global Silicon Valley software company, number one in all the different product categories, some of you would know it by name.
I got a $16k raise. They actually gave me $3k MORE than I asked them for - what the FUCK??
Then they GIVE me $50k worth of company stock. Just given to me for joining the company. It vests over 4 years, so I own 25% of it after 1 year and then 12.5% of it after every 6 months after that til I own it all.
Their 401k match is 100% up to 6% with NO vesting period - I own all the money the second it hits my account. I’ve never heard of a 401k with no vesting period, much less one that matches 100%.
Their health insurance is world-class 10% co-pay instead of the usual 20%. High deductible but the put a bunch of money into your HSA acct to offset that. Best insurance i’ve Ever seen - they’d cover a sex change operation, can you believe that shit? And NO, Del, I will NOT give you a recommendation, so fuck off.
Here’s the fuckin kicker - well there are other things but i’ll End it w this. There’s UNLIMITED PTO. There is no set amount you can take. If you need or want time off, you take it. You just work it all out w your manager. No putting in for it in a system, none of that shit. Of course, I seriously doubt they’re going to let you go crazy w it but seriously guys...
Have you ever heard of this shit???
Thank you Donald Trump - your economy has paid off for me personally! YouDaman.
Some of you may know I spent almost 2 years during the Obama admin unemployed - an MBA with almost 20 yrs of marketing experience in high-tech industries. Since Trump took office it’s been nothing but up for me.